i almost cried again...

today, my parents woke me up in the morning cause they wanted to go out, and they wanted me to drive...-_-" so i got up and got ready. my body was hating me. it refused to move in the way i wanted it to and my back was killing me. after being free for 5 weeks, i had no choice but to resort to an energy drink to wake my body up. it tasted pretty bad...iono how i drank that stuff like water during the school year. but it worked...and off we go...

after an afternoon of shopping, we finally came back. i thought about taking a nap, but i couldnt fall asleep (energy drinks are freaking amazing xD) so i ended up going down to the worship team practice room to practice drums cuz im playing this coming sunday. then i came back up and made dinner. tonight, i made steaks. it was quite the yummy =D ...my dad was really impressed, and my mom said i should make dinner every night -_-" but i passed on the opportunity...lol

anyways, so after dinner, i headed back down to the practice room. 10 mins later, my sister comes in along with my parents. then an idea popped in my head. i set up a couple equipments and started teaching my family how to play the respective instruments they knew how to play. we ended up jamming together for like 3 hours. it was freaking AWESOME. after we had finished playing the set i made up, my parents started to laugh. i was a bit confused...but my dad explained that him and my mom were laughing cuz they were happy. they explained that they were able to actually see a future for me. (apparently they were really worried, cuz every time they asked me what i wanted to do, i would reply "i dont know"...but they had faith in God that He will lead me to do something) at first i was like...wth?!?!?! but then i realized how much more i should be aware of my future...even though "im waiting on God on where He wants to lead me"...i still needed a direction. my parents are dropping a LOT of money for me to stay an extra year in school...

so yeah, back to the end of the jam session. as we were cleaning up, my dad and i had a convo that went something like this...

dad: do you really like to do this?
me: do what?
dad: this...playing and singing
me: yeah, i guess so. otherwise i wouldnt be doing it all year round
dad: thats good. its pretty cool...what you're able to do and stuff
me: thanks?

so a few weeks ago (when i wrote "its ok to cry") my dad and i had a convo about my future and stuff...and something i left out on that post was when i was telling my dad why i wanted to be music major. my dad said he couldn't fully support me because he said that this career path would be way to hard, etc. and that really hurt me. cuz all my life my parents had supported me in everything that i did. good or bad (not that they supported my bad behavior...not that i had that many...but that they were still supportive to who i was/am/gona be) and during that part of the convo, my dad was trying to convince me to go back to chemistry and find a future there, and play music as a side thing/hobby. but tonight, i guess my parents saw something different? our convo continued on like this...

dad: yeah. i can see why you like doing this so much
me: really? why?
dad: cause its fun
me: haha. yeah it is dad. its really fun
dad: yeah. it is. i'll be praying for you then..and we should do this more often

hearing that, it almost...ALMOST...made me wana cry again (why am i being such a big baby??? wth?!?!?!) but yeah, knowing that my parents were gona support me wherever God leads me is an awesome feeling...just cuz having them around would be a huge blessing.

BUT...this still doesnt give me an answer to where God is leading me...so thats still up in the air. so please continue to pray for me =D

okk..im tired...nite-0

im tired from playing -_-"

i didn't think i'd ever say this...but i am really really really tired from playing today...it was really fun though. and AWESOME...but now i shall walk with a limp...lol

are you ready? heck yeah!!! =D

jury duty

so for the past 2 days, i've had to go in for jury duty. initially, i was like...dang it! monday morning, i got up at 745...745am!!! got ready and walked to the building i was assigned to. when i got there, there was some introductory stuff we had to do, then we turned in our summons and waited to get picked. nothing came in in the morning...so all i ended up doing was sleep...hahaha. then we had a lunch break, since i lived close enough, i came home. went back for the afternoon, and the afternoon was pretty much the same as the morning. except this time, i had my cousin christina keeping me company =] a case came in late that day, so they werent able to pick out jurors so they let us out early.

so this morning, i got up a bit late...had to rush to the jury room. as soon as i got in, they started calling out names of jurors that were to be questioned. my name got called! so i went out and followed the court officer. at the court room, we got sworn in, and gave a narrative answer to questions on a questionnaire. then the lawyers presented their case...we went back out and waited, then came back in and they selected. i didnt get picked. so back to the giant waiting room...had lunch break...came back, but my name wasn't drawn so no im free from jury duty for the next 6 years. but honestly, after going through all this, i kinda wished i got picked..i wanted to see what it was like in the court room and stuff..but i guess i'll have to wait for another 6 years...

i just took an 8 hour nap >.<"

so yeah, hmm..where to start...

for today, my dad asked me (like last week) if i was free to drive him cuz he had to conduct a wedding ceremony. last time i did this, he had to go to like mid/uptown (around 160 something st.?) so i was like..yeah, no problem. so last night i asked my mom for the address of the church, since i was gona be home late, i asked her to email it to me. so i went on google maps and searched the place. it said that it was 80 miles away (about a 2 hour drive)...almost at the tip of long island. O_O? i burst into my parent's room (yes, they were still awake) and the convo between my dad ans i went something like this...

me: the west hamptons?!?!?! are you serious!?!?!?!
dad: oh, yeah, i forgot to tell you that last week...it's really far
me: uhh...DUH!!!! what time is the ceremony???
dad: i have to be there no later than 11
me: so what time do you want to leave?
dad:mmm...i was thinking around 830. latest 9 in case of traffic (so if you didnt read my last blog...me and traffic, yeah, we're not the best of buddies)
me: 830?!?!?! oh man...cant you drive yourself??? its not like you dont know how to...(i leave their room to go back to mine, and i hear my dad laughing...)
dad: its ok son...(i turn back around hoping he was gona drive himself)...i'll wake you up in the morning...

great -_-" wth...so i go back to my room, jot some notes down for driving directions, set my alarm for 8 and went to bed, and the next thing i knew, it was 825 and my dad was shaking me...WAKE UP!!! crappp..i overslept! got up, suited up, and took off. so for those that live in LI/nyc, saturday morning, usually means traffic on the LIE...or it has been everytime i drove out on saturday mornings...but today, no traffic...i shot right through and got to exit 70, yes, exit 70 on the LIE in like an hour...yeh yeh, thats a little fast, but i was moving with the flow of traffic xD

so we got to the hotel where the wedding was in like 1.5 hours, the same amount of time it took me the other day to get to queens (see my previous blog). we got there a bit early..it was only 10:30...but upon leaving the car for the valet, my dad and i had another convo that went like this

dad: not bad, you took off like 30 mins from the trip
me: uhh, thanks?
dad: maybe on the way back you can take of 45 mins?
me: (thinking in my head) uhh..wth!?!?!?!?

*yeh..so i guess now i have a reasoning for my tendency to speed...it runs in the family!! hahahaah xP

anyways...so initially, i was gona try to lounge around hotel lobby and wait. but my cousin christina suggested that i SUIT UP! just incase...and good thing i did...cuz i ended up sitting in the ceremony. so during the ceremony, my dad gave a short shpeal on love...and one of the things he said that really stuck out was the patience part of love. and this patience is really in 2 parts. the obvious part is where we need to be patient with one another and the typical stuff. but the other part my dad talked about was being patient in waiting for God to bring the person He has prepared especially for you. the two people that got married today, even though i didnt really know them, i could tell that they were really special. they were both Ph D grads from columbia, and both came from high profile families. and they definitely coulda had anyone they wanted...but they came to know Christ [on their own] (their families aren't Christians) and learn what TRUE love is. so each of them waited for God to bring their special mate that He has prepared for them, and voila! they found each other.

after the ceremony, we headed back to the city, on the way back, we planned on looking at some house in LI. so for me, i've been kinda like, why do we need a house? we have a place to stay, take the money (we sold our house in Wisconsin) and invest it or something. but my dad insisted that we looked at houses. so we did. and as soon as we entered the first house, i knew why...the way my mom smiled and walked around the houses and stuff, man, my dad knew my mom like a book! and just watching the two of them observing the houses we looked at, it made me crack a smile and think about how long my dad had to wait for my mom. 7 years...yep, my daddy waited for 7 years for my mommy. LOVE is patient...it really really is...

so yeah, then we came back to ctown...got some late lunch and came home. my dad decided to take a nap, so my mom asked me what we should do for dinner. i told her to get something dad would like and i PASSED OUT. next thing i knew, it was 2 am...i took an 8 hour nap?!?!? O_O i got up and went outside, my dad was about to go sleep. then we had another convo that went like this...

dad: oh, you're awake
me: uhh..why didnt you guys wake me up for dinner????
dad: oh, you looked really tired so i thought sleep was better for you, plus it doesnt hurt you to lose a meal
me: uhh..thanks dad...thanks
dad: hahahahaha...hang on (he goes in the room and wakes my mom up) your son's awake and i think he's hungry
me: (standing outside their door and hearing everything) its ok mom..i can make my own food..go sleep
dad: (comes back out) yeah, your mom is tired...dont sleep too late. g'nite

man...haha, i love my dad. and i dont think i say that enough to him. it's father's day today...and honestly (not that im biased cuz im a guy) but a LOT of times, we tend to just overlook father's day. we make such a big deal about mother's day in may, and yes, i love my mommy as well, but there are MANY of us that kinda just lets father's day go by. and yeah, guys dont really like to celebrate stuff...blah blah...but i say SCREW that. CELEBRATE with your father. they probably wont show as much of an appreciation as your mom would, but deep down inside, they're a big softy for this stuff.

and i guess this also goes for those of us that are Christians, it goes the same way for our heavenly Father. there really isnt ever a time where I LOVE YOU (too) is said enough..."we love because HE first loved us" 1 John 4:19.

so like seriously, if you get a chance, tell your daddy how much you love them. if they're far away, give them a call, if they're somewhat close by, drive over and surprised them if you didnt plan on celebrating...because even though they may not show it well, they really love you.

happy father's day!

transportation in nyc...

so i was suppose to make this post a couple days back...but i've been hanging out and havent really had time to sit in front of my comp to type this out. so hopefully this still makes some sense as im trying to recall what i wanted to blog about...

so...the first and probably the most popular kind of transportation...the train. so the other day, i was on the train, and i realized that a lot of people were staring at me. i was kinda like...wth is going on??? but come to after looking around, i noticed that people just stare at each other in general. and that got me thinking...what do people look at when they're on a train (if they're not sleeping or reading something)...you can only read the commercial boards so many times...then it started to feel really awkward cuz i found myself randomly staring at other people as well...so i tried staring at the ground. it worked for while, but i would look up once in a while, and notice people staring and looking around me...O_O?? another thing about trains...they take FOREVER!!! so i guess being someone that like to get from point a to point b asap, the train is NOT an ideal way to travel for me...or so i thought...

so the other kind of transportation that i use is my car. back in my midwest days, i can get from a to b in a good amount of time (15-20 mins at most if there's traffic). BUT, im driving in freaking nyc now. and yeah, traffic here, oh man...i would use some extreme colorful language, but i will refrain from that because i am trying to cut a bad habit. lets just say that it is really ridiculous. but you know what i hate more? the traffic jams RARELY have an explanation. its as if people just decide to drive slower during certain hours of the day...WHY!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?! so the other day, i debated to take the train out to queens, or drive...i looked up nyc traffic map, and it said it was clear...but i guess from the time i left my room to my car (which is like 3 mins) the traffic flow changed...as soon as i got off the williamsburg bridge, i drove bumper to bumper and inched my way slowly to queens...GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...man...a trip that should took me no more than 30 mins, took me 1.5 hours...1.5 hours!!!!

anyways...wow, this blog became more like a vent...hahahahahahaahaahah...but yeah, thats reall all for now, im just glad tomrrow i dont have to worry about traveling out to church. cuz i just gota take the elevator down, although sometimes elevator traffic is even worse -_-" but i'll save that rant some other day.

im outs..paEce

how i met boaz.

this is christina. i am at boaz's place and so i figured its about time i get to ruin someone else's blog with fictional stories. but then again, the world is infested with enough lies and distorted facts. so lets have some truth.


i dont really remember much about the first time i met boaz. for those of you who dont know, boaz and i are cousins but we never actually got to know each other until he moved out here to new york. i only met boaz once before when my family went to the phillipines to visit his family. his dad had just finished seminary so they got a whole bunch of family to come and celebrate. we went to Mt. Mayon and had a picnic on this huge field. i dont remember much of the day, i just remember that boaz was really annoying. our families kept trying to take pictures of the kids together but boaz for the life of him would never stay still and so it took forever. this is the one good pic we got as we were leaving. but even this one took a while cuz boaz kept trying to stand in front of me and block me from the picture. i was pretty pissed. what a punk. well after that i didnt see or hear about him until my mom told me that their family would be moving to new york, and she had to go searching for pictures cuz i had no idea who they were anymore. she kept telling me to contact boaz or joachebeth to get to know them better since they would be so close now. but i was like errr... awkward....then one day i came home from school and my mom and boaz's mom were talking on the phone. then my mom just shoves the phone in my face and goes "here talk to boaz. they are in new york." the conversation went something like this:


me: uhh hello?
boaz: (long pause)... hi
me: so i hear youre in new york
boaz: yea
me: uhh.. do you like it here?
boaz: i just got here
me: oh..err okay


and then i threw the phone back at my mom. it was kinda weird seeing him at church after that cuz its like one of those im-supposed-to-know-you-but-i-dont-and-thats-quite-okay-with-me sort of situations. it was nice catching up with joachebeth though. she was a lot more pleasant.


well anyway, fast forward a few years and now boaz and i are actually pretty close. he says he doesnt remember being mean to me but thats because he's mean to me every day. all that aside, im glad we're able to spend more time with each other now and im grateful for how he looks out for me so well. kinda makes up for all the years he was a loser. so thats how i met boaz. he'll probably give you a messed up version of the story where he was the sweet and pleasant one and i was the obnoxious jerk, but his perception of reality has always been a bit twisted. so there you have it. and now boaz is playing guitar really loud behind me.

my day was quite useful...

so for like the first time this summer...my day was productive.

i went downstairs to the church office today to help out and volunteer. i helped type out the schedule for the pastoral/church staff retreat that they're having this week...and man, the schedule my dad made is INTENSE...and i thought that IV conferences had intense schedules...they have like 5 hour discussion sessions...after like a 2 hour lecture and what not. O_O

then, i headed up a floor to asp office, and helped out with making a tentative schedule for sdc. so i admit that im really a big IV product...i wanted to do it as efficiently as possible. and my co-workers were like, its not that simple...but i was it can be!!! -_-" but i ended up doing it the way they do it...just cuz what i had in mind would take too long to explain to them...and it was really hot (no ac in the office...man, definitely NOT looking forward to that all summer long) so i didnt wana talk too much. it took like 2 hours >.<"

then, i finally got a break...cooled down a bit in my room, then i had to go back down to practice...so the other night, my mom was playing the piano (she likes to do that at night) and i was like, its been a long while since i've played with my mom...so i took my violin out and played around accompanying her and stuff. and she was like, thats really good. wana play sunday? i was like..hahahahah....no...but apparently my mom "didnt hear it"...so she calls me and she like, hey, the guy playing piano on sunday is here, i want you to practice with him...O_O? wth!?!? so i had to go back down...and i practiced with the guy. so we're done with the piece, but he needed more practice cuz he's playing for the praise time too...so i was just sitting there and then my dad comes in was like, oh, play for praise time too..O_O??? oh mannn....that means i have to be up for a 8:30am service on sunday T-T wahhhhhhhh

so yeah, after that was done, i went back to the office with the parents...and the guys that were making the handbook for the pastoral retreat were doing it really slow and ineffciently...-_-" at first i was just gona head back up to go home...but standing there watching them, i got really frustrated at how inefficient they were! so i was like...try this, and try that...so i ended helping them do the handbooks...and double checked them to make sure it was done right...finally finished at 10

then came up, mom picked up food for me and my dad, we watched the nba finals while eating, finally for once, i got to say "in YOUR face" to my dad...he's gotten the glory over the last 2 games...COME ON LAKERS!!!

and yeah..thats all for today...

I GOT TO SEE PEOPLE and HANG OUT!!!

today...i GOT TO SEE PEOPLE and HANG OUT!!! and it was actually fun =D but tiring...so im gona sum it up in as few words as possible...

woke up
talk to the dad a bit
went to the beach
ate nathan's
went on the wonder wheel..probably for the last time ever...
came back to c-town
hung out at my house
got food and ate it
played wii fit
then people left
and now im on my comp summarizing

very simple day...but it was a GREAT day =D

its ok to cry

so tonight...for the first time in a REALLY REALLY REALLY long time, i cried. thinking back to earlier tonight, i still dont really know why i did, or what instigated it. it was right after dinner, im talking to my parents, and my dad asked me what i was gona do with my life. and i told him that i didnt know...wherever God leads me. and he was like..."hahaha..good answer" but i dont think he meant it 100%. cuz after that, he started asking me questions and stuff...and it got me thinking...what the heck AM i doing???

then i raised up the possibility of becoming a full time staff worker for intervarsity...and my parents were like ok...so what/how would you fund raise? and i couldnt give them a confident answer...then my dad suggested seminary...but i told him there is no way i will go into church ministry...because of all the stupid crap and politics that happens...i explained to my dad why i hate it so much, because of what i saw when i was younger, what happened to my parents and how it just tore up the church, how it just didnt make any sense that it would happen in a church...and i got really angry thinking about all the crap my family had to go through and i started crying...-_-" at this point, my sister went downstairs to get her friend who was coming over to hang out a bit...man, was it embarrassing...lol

anywhos, so yeah,(im still crying) i was explaining to my dad how i felt about the church, and the reasons why i wanted to be a doctor, or go into some kind of professional career, so that i could avoid going into ministry..cuz i HATE it...but then my dad said that politics happens everywhere, no matter what the job is. i knew that, but i would expect in a "secular" setting? versus it happening in a church...[right after i said that, something i learned from basileia kicked into my mind. that it doesnt matter if its "secular" or "religious", God created it, therefore it is good]...then my dad encouraged me with what he held on to when all of this was happening to him...he mentioned that no matter what the situation is, God is always faithful to His servants. as long as we continue to obey Him, He will bring judgment to those that have sinned. and i knew that too, but i just couldnt stand how/why it happens in the churches today(im still crying)...then my dad said something else that i dreaded to hear..."maybe God is giving you these thoughts so you can do something about it"...that initially got me more frustrated, cuz i've felt that way all my life...at the same time, i asked back...maybe i have a problem? cuz i can never just be ok with how things are going...but my dad replied saying that it was better for me to find ways to improve and not settle...!)(@$&!#^%)!@$...GAHHHH -_-" i can never win against my dad...but yeah, so then he asked me have i thought about ministry work...

oh man...i know everyone has always joked bout how im gona be a pastor or staff worker or something along the lines of it...and i've ALWAYS replied..."heck no"...but at that point, i couldnt give that answer...even though i gave it to my dad like 10 minutes ago (i've started to calm down and stopped crying)...and at this point, i really dont know what im gona do...is going into ministry something that God wants me to do? or being IV staff? or maybe going back to pursue a "professional" career? man...why is life so complicated and confusing?

so i guess the purpose of this post comes to this...a prayer request to you all. I dont know exactly what to ask for as of right now, but im thinking along the lines of what does God want me to do for Him? if God speaks to you, please do not hesitate to let me know. i'll be praying too...aite, i shall go sleep, my bed is yelling out my name...nite-0