wow...its been close to 2 weeks since i started my internship here in OCM...and yeah, WOW...to think that I've learned so much in my 5 years in college, the things i've learned over the last 2 weeks is beyond anything i could have imagined. through daily devotions, fellowship, prayer and discussions, the biggest thing i've learned these past 2 weeks is that God is ENDLESS. the things we can learn and ways we can follow and know Him better are INFINITE...THAT is the God i believe in...it literally leaves me speechless and baffles the crap out of my mind in that just when i thought i've learned a lot...God reveals Himself even more. God shows me more of Himself and how GREAT He is...and through that, i've learned how insignificant i really am. not that i'm demoralizing or blowing my self-esteem, but to realize that me, of all people, have been made in that image of a God that loves me, that cares for me, that knows and understands me in every possible shape, way, and form. however, that doesn't give us the liberty to live a life that is of this world. so then one would ask," how the heck would you do that then?"
well, something i learned this past week was actually from a passage that i wrote a song off last year. so its based off psalm 27, and at this week's prayer service at brooklyn tabernacle, Pastor Cymbala shared a short messgae on Psalm 27:4a. David wrote, "One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek..." He continued on sharing that more often times than not, people are full of desires on wanting and longing to be with God. a LOT of times we ask/tell God that we want Him in control, we want to give it all up for Him, we want this, or that, etc. those things are great, but how much of it do we follow through with? probably little to none. why? well, having a desire to do something and SEEKING to do something are 2 completely different things. BUT in the psalm, David ASKS and SEEKS after God...and until we're willing to SEEK after God, we really aren't doing anything other than saying a bunch of crap. we can have an enormous amount of desires, but not doing anything about them will get us nowhere.
getting to the SEEK part is not easy though, and more often times than not, i find myself continuously disappointing my father in heaven. but despite that, by HIS grace, i am forgiven and saved...because of HIS love, i am able to live with freedom just as i am...and with that, i have another song i would like to share that reflects on this thought...but before i do that, isn't God freaking AWESOME?!?!? doesn't that excite you to want to know Him more? i know that it does for me.
Jesus You Gave
by Boaz Tingson
many times, oh Lord, i fall away from You
and there are times, oh Lord, that i can't see Your truth
then there are times, oh Lord, i choose the world over You
and there's still times, oh Lord, that i can't fix my eyes on You
but i know now, that it's ok for me to be this way
but i know now, that its ok for me to be this way...cause
Jesus You gave Your life, to pay for all my sins
Jesus You gave Your blood, to cleanse me white as snkow
Jesus You gave Your love, so i can love again
so i thank You now, and forevermore
