spring break 08...a "quick" recap

man...i should totally be doing work right now, but since its still spring break ( its break till my first class) i shall procrastinate to the max.

this break, i didn't go anywhere/do anything special like i have done in the past. i stayed home and spent most of the day by myself, the wii, the guitar, the piano, my sister's laptop (since i didn't bring back my comp) and God. being home alone for most of the day, i realized that i was able to spent some time with just myself and God for the first time in a really really really really long time. and it felt AWESOME. Although questions that i had for God haven't really been answered at this moment, i was able to sit down and ask Him things sincerely, rather than just saying a quick prayer in my mind when i needed help/answers. for the first time in a long while, i had time to not think about other things and just keep my mind totally focused on Him.

so one of the things that i asked God this past week was about my future. technically, i should be graduating this may...but im not. not because im failing or anything (actually, i'll get to that part in a bit) but i really really really don't know what God wants me to do. all my life up to last fall, i had always thought that God was calling me to be a doctor. i wanted to be able to open up a clinic that would help the sick...like Jesus did when He he came down to earth...because hospitals these days (generally in america) only help people that have money. if you didn't have money for your injury or illness, you were pretty much screwed and left to die. and thats really freaking messed up. like, how could we call these people doctors when they can only operate on those that can afford their services? the insurance companies and their wack plans and restrictions are just complete bogus !@#$#$^&@#*%(this isn't the purpose of the blog...so i shall reset my mind)

but yeah, as i was saying, i thought that God wanted me to be a doctor that would "literally" heal the sick...cuz thats what doctors should do. and thats what Jesus did...but last summer, i realized that i couldn't go through with it...i found NO passion in doing this work directly...i couldn't stand the idea of applying and remaining in school for the next 8 years of my life. just thinking about it makes my brain hurt ><" so i started thinking, what on earth can i do then?

back in like hs, i remember my counselor telling me that the most important thing in choosing a career is doing something you like to do. so i started thinking, what do i like to do? i like to play. but how am i gona make a career in that? pro gamer? my parents would kill me before i could finish telling them that i wanted to do that for a living. play sports? its wayyy to late to even think about it...after missing tryouts for jv back in hs cuz of a sprained ankle and getting cut for varsity cuz i was too small...theres no way to consider that path. play music? PLAY MUSIC!

then it hit me, i could play music! write songs, be an amateur artist, and pray that i can get like a one hit wonder? oh man, that thought quickly faded...what are the chances of that happening...-_-" and im starting to go off tangent again..so i shall reset...

so yeah, now, im a double major in music and chemistry...and i was on track to finish with just a maximum of 1 extra year...maybe even less. until i got my grades from last fall. i didnt fufill one of the major classes i needed and i need to retake that class T-T but i thought, no problem, it fits in my schedule...or so i thought. the 2 classes i need are offered at the SAME TIME SLOT next fall...wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...all i could think was, why God...why!??!?!?! T-T

anywhos, my dilemma now is i might have to stay even longer...oh man...just the thought of that makes my brain hurt...T-T sighh...i have to go talk to the professor tomorrow and hope that i can somehow take it in the summer or something...(crap..im off track again..spring break boaz..talk about spring break)

OK...spring break 08...so maybe having so much time on my own wasn't as good as i thought it would be...it got me thinking a little too much (i tend to have the problem) so i decided to keep my mind occupied. so i tried arranging music for koinonia. after my first arrangement, i sent it to steve and he sent it back completely shredding all that i did..(arranging music is a LOT harder than i thought)..but he gave good suggestions here and there so i was able to make a new arrangement and yeah, hopefully we'll be singing it next fall...

so that was tuesday night and most of the day weds. thursday, took a chill day and help out sisters from our church to practice football for a tournament on saturday. but during the practice, i jammed my right pinky. at first i thought it was nothing since i jam my fingers all the time. so after practice i helped out at the church with our 5th sunday event "you too"..when i got home after...i realized i had no feeling in my right pinky (i accidentally brushed against a hot pot but felt no pain) and i looked...my pinky was the size of my thumb O_O ...and i had a football tourney on saturday...crap -_-"

friday was a relaxing day...slept in...got a hair cut (my head feels so naked)...instead of taking a day off, i helped again and practiced with the sisters some more...it was ok..i taped my fingers =D friday night was the event, it went pretty well i thought. the messages spoken definitely gave me another awakening...but i shall save that for some other time cuz it's almost 2 and i havent started doing my work yet...

so yeah, saturday, football tournament. made a name for ourselves. we lost in the finals, but we definitely got some heads turning when they saw us play. it was fun. sucks that we lost, but we lost with the best possible way. we had our shots, we just didnt convert on opportunities...we'll definitely get them next year...

sunday...today, went to church, ate lunch, waited for the children to come out to chinatown, then headed back up to bing...and now, im in bing land again...and i really should do my work...sighh...i hate school...why am i still here?!?!?!?! T-T