i can graduate?

so as promised, i am back to give a REAL update (although time wise, its much later than the previous post...hahaha)

hmm...where to start...

so earlier this semester, i had a post about feeling out of place because this past semester was my 5th year in college. also, this was the first year i was living in an apartment with people i didn't really know. on top of that, the closest people i knew/had were either gone (graduated) or far away (lived off campus) although off campus people were still pretty close, it just wasn't as close walking over to the next room or the next apartment. so finding a community that i can really place my self in became a challenge. But with God's AWESOMENESS, i was able to challenge myself to build new friendships and also mature friendships that i had and surround myself in a new community of people. not that i have replaced my old community, but i've been given the privilege to EXPAND my community.

another issue i've been rambling about this past semester is getting off my butt and getting my act together for school. i'd have to admit that this semester, i was definitely still not to par with the work ethic i had back in high school, but i was able to get my act together nevertheless. although i cant say for sure i can graduate (cuz i dont wana jinx myself) im pretty sure i will graduate next spring...yay!!! finally x] also, this past semester, i was able to pass the class i needed for my music degree and pull off a 3.82 for my semester GPA...w00t w00t!!!

oh, for those of you that are curious about my future...it looks like as of now, IV staff isn't my calling. will it be later? i don't know. but after much prayer and discussion with some wise people, i think that God is leading me in another direction from IV staff (although i'll admit that i would LOVE to do it) its just not for me right now. so what then you ask? well, as of now, i know i really want to do something musically related. i really feel like God has given me music as a gift to serve Him. how that looks like, im still not too sure. but a suggestion i was given was to apply for some kind of internship/job to be a worship/music coordinator for a church. so with that in mind, i asked my dad about the possibility of working at OCM...haha...weird right? and then i kinda gave a shpiel on what i feel like i could contribute (it felt like an interview...over the dinner table -_-) and to my surprise, my dad acutally liked my ideas and told me to apply and see if church would actually hire me. and to my OWN surprise, i was actually kinda excited about it. so i guess for the people that read this, please pray for me and my future. where God will lead me (whether in OCM or somewhere else) and for the opportunity to serve God in this manner.

speaking of my future, those "major" changes that i've been talking about recently...its all coming to life-ish. so with the whole finding community thingy, i was able spend a good amount of time alone by myself. thinking, praying, and just figuring out things with God. but yeah, although there's still a LOT of things that are still on my mind, something i was able to let go to God is my anxiety of my future. the past 2 years has been a complete change and extremely painful growth for me. but through all that change, God was able to pull me through and give me an opportunity of a lifetime. to totally surrender to Him the anxiety about dating/relationships. how thats gona look like, i have NO clue or even the slightest idea. but i know that im in the hands of a God that LOVES me and He knows who/what/when/where/why and how its going to happen and i know that its going to be what is BEST for me.

i guess this post wasn't as complete as i wanted it to be, but its getting really late for serious and i can't seem to write anything coherent anymore (that last paragraph took me like 30 mins)

so with that, i will end this post and wish everyone that reads this a


Merry Christmas

g-nite-0 peeps

update?

okk...its pretty late...so i'll do a REAL update soon

i promise =]

letting it all go (part 2)

so yeah..."major" changes happening...but letting God take care of it...and in that, i am able to find peace =D

i cast all my cares upon You
i lay all of my burdens down at Your feet
and anytime i don't know what to do
i will cast all my cares upon You

changes?

so not too sure what's gona happen from now...but definitely changes are happening in my life (see my post on 11/6) but yeah...please keep praying for me, and if you haven't been...starting now would be greatly appreciated x]

anyways...so a quick recap of my thanksgiving...

so my parents werent home cuz they went back to Asia so thanksgiving was just gona be me and my sister. luckily, we had joe and will joining us cuz we were all parent-less for thanksgiving. (ping and stella joined too) it ended up alright...i bought WAY too much food though, so we pretty much ate "left overs" (in quote cuz it was just left over groceries that i ended up making other foods with) for the rest of the weekend. lol

after dinner, we went black friday shopping. we ended up going to woodbury again...we coulda gotten there in like 2 hours (which woulda been record time) but right when we got to the exit, the cops freaking blocked it. so we circled around the freaking mountain for like an hour. sucked. walked around, saw some stuff i wanted to get, but i ended up not buying anything, which for a lot of people they'd be mad, but im really glad and proud that i didnt.

the next day we went to play football. boon vs. main church...good game of football, but i got bit on the face and now i have 20 stitiches on my right jaw line. yeah, sucked.

saturday, didnt do much. went to B and N at union square to help will buy a phone (felt mad shady...hahaha) then picked up rockband. dinner with some oldER people...felt a bit out of place, but it was still alright. rockband all night til we couldnt play anymore...felt awesome

sunday, oh sunday. it took us 7.5 FREAKING hours to get back to bing. we literally inched our way for like 60 miles. sucked BIG time. in my car, we ended up watching 2 episodes of how i met your mother to help pass time. but we were so cranky afterwards and yeah, im not even sure how to describe it.

so yeah, thats pretty much how thanksgiving 2009 went for me.

sorry for the random and not entertaining post. i promise i'll have something better next time

letting it go

feels awesome...thanks to you (you know who you are when you read this) for reminding what it really means to let God forgive me and letting it go. to truly cast my burdens to Him so that i can fully live out my life for Him. maybe that clip (see my last post) wasn't so random after all...its been stuck in my head for the last week or so and its what i hear every morning when i get up. its a good way to remind myself to lay it all for Christ...everyday and every step of the way.

sounds exciting doesn't it?
cuz i am...and whenever i don't know what to do. i'll just cast all my cares to Him =D

wow...2 posts in a week?

so as most of you probably already knew...major changes are about to happen to this nation. and dwelling on that, i feel like major changes in my life is about to happen as well...not too sure what or when, but i feel it coming. so for my faithful readers...please pray for me.

secondly...despite my last post and wanting to be more efficient and effective student/study habits..i failed again miserably...although i'd have to say i felt confident about my tests this past week (3 of them), im still extremely insecure about them...because i felt like that LAST time...and nothing came out well -_-"

but in my efforts to procrastinate...i made this short clip...its one of my all time favorite songs...hope you guys enjoy it =D

can i have this dance?

...is the song thats currently stuck in my head and won't get out...its a song from HSM3: senior year...and yeah, i WATCHED it...dont judge me. the movie was pretty good. musically, this is by far the best out of the three hsm movies, but i feel like the plot could have use more fine tuning with transitions. overall..good movie. its a feel good movie...go watch it if you're feeling crappy, even if you dont like hsm.

speaking of crappy...thats pretty much how i've felt like recently. the pressure of getting work done and making sure i do well so i can graduate isn't really working for me right now. i feel like i still have senioritis...from highschool...-_-"

eversince my senior year, my work ethic and plumeted. i use to be one of those students that did my work as soon as the assignment was assigned and finish it within a couple days if it was a project or paper. i would study hours for exams and ace them without a sweat. now, i wait until the last minute to do my work, and study hours BEFORE my exams >.<"(speaking of which...i should be studying right now..i have a test in 2.5 hours)

so back to the pressure...so apparently my church at home (ocm) is planning a tour of israel sometime in may. initially, the time the scheduled the tour overlaps with my graduation ceremony. but my dad wants to attend my graduation, so they changed the tour date...talk about pressure T-Ton top of that right now, i have a 25 minute seminar to give in 2 weeks, and i haven't even really started putting anything together (i did some research..but definitely not enough)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sighh...a little better...haha, now the song "scream" from hsm3 is playing...its a point of the movie where troy (zac) was frustrated with life and what not...how appropriate...

but yeah...another thing thats been on my mind is really my future. i can't picture where i would be at this time next year. the idea of becoming iv staff still lingers my mind...but i really want to do something with music. i talked to my parents about it briefly over the weekend when i went home, and i dont know whether i should be surprised or not? but they were ok with it. they just want me to follow wherever God leads me...but God hasn't been the easiest guy to figure out lately...so yeah, for those of you that read this, please keep praying for me. thanks!

sorry for quite the random post..okk...i really should study...pEaz!

there's no place like home...i wish i could stay here

an over due update...

so i've been home for the past 5 days..give or take...and although i've accomplished ABSOLUTELY nothing in terms of the the amount of work i had planned to do, its been one of the most relaxing 5 days ever. the past few days consisted of sleep (i avg. 12 hours of sleep), eat AWESOME home cooked meals, meet up with friends, bum, and doing a little bit of work. i know that i wrote how life was going pretty well in my last "post", but i guess in some ways i was lying. i WANTED to think that it was going well...when it really wasnt.

over these past few days, along with chillaxing came with lots of time to think. and if you've read my blog for a while now, you know what happens to my mind when i think too much. so this past weekend, my parents, along with friends and uncles and aunties in the church have been asking how school was, and when i was going to graduate. and i answered "school is good, and im graduating next spring. so im at bing for this year...yeah.." however, if i was speaking to them truthfully...my answer should of been, "school is ok, im behind in my classes, but im really really hoping i can get my act together and graduate next spring...yeh, i might be at bing longer..."(crosses fingers) T-T wahhhhhhhhhhhhh....

ok, so maybe it really isnt THAT bad, but its close to it. this past 2 weeks have been quite hectic with exams and papaers...and lets just say i've dug my self my usual hole -_-". its not as deep as it use to be, but i really wanted to have a better start than i got. and if i cant dig my self out this time, then im in REALLY REALLY big trouble. sighh...school sucks. i hate it ((Q))-_-"

alright...sorry for the ramble...im definitely making it sound much more dramatic than it really is, but at the same time im trying to implant that in my mind so i would really get cracking with my work...okk...speaking of work, i really gota go study...finish packing, then pick up these two awesome sisters from the airport who were having the time of their lives and drive back up to bing.

pEaz

update

i am wayyyyyyyy over due for an update.

but i really dont have too much time in my hands right now. so a real update will come at a later time. as for now, the past few weeks have been good. classes are coming by, and iv stuff is going awesome. so life's been pretty good. just for those that are curious =D

hi, my name is boaz, im a super senior

so its been 2 weeks of school already. work is starting to pile up like WOAH but things are starting to settle down since NSO is pretty much in its final stages. but for the past 2 weeks, trying to meet new freshmen has been some what depressing. not because i didnt wana meet new people...but repeating the line "hi, im boaz, im a super senior" and having those that hear it go "oh...thats cool" kinda sucks. cuz honestly, what ARE you suppose to say to that? you wana be nice, but then at the same time the taboo of "stayin in school" runs in your mind and you're first assumption is that this guy probably is a bad student. and im not admitting that im not, i'll admit that my studying habits are definitely not where i would like them to be, and NO WHERE near to what i had when i was in high school. so with that in mind...i definitely must get off my behind and really get cracking.

on a better note, i finally got all my classes finalized. this week started off terribly. last friday i found out that i was rejectedf from the university orchestra. but i needed to be in an ensemble cuz i need the credit towards my music degree. on top of that, i was having a really hard time to find a professor to register a course i needed to take to graduate...and the thought of "hi, im boaz, im a super super senior" kept running in my mind...but i was eventually able to get a hold of him and got it done. and as for the orchestra thing, i decided to walk downstairs of Fine Arts building for some reason that i can't recall and saw an audition sheet for university chorus. i signed up and auditioned and i got in! haha...all my life i thought i wouldnt/couldnt sing but i would rely on my music playing abilities...but here i am, singing to save my degree/career...haha. anyways, so everything is finally in place for my last year in binghamton. it took a while to get it in place and started...but nevertheless, God was gracious and definitely helped me out BIG time on this one...

aite...until something else comes up, im outs my friends

binghamton

i cant believe im back here for school....-_-

thats all she wrote...

well, its done...sdc is over...summer is over.

good bye summer 08
hello fall 08

man, this summer went by really quick

summer is ending...and for some reason im ok with it

so about my last post, i was a bit frustrated because of a few things.

1. work wasn't really busy, but it was...not sure why, but the last couple of weeks have been hectic for no odd reasons. however, this past week its been pretty good. things went by smoothly, closing ceremony was good, staff dinner and superstars was fun.

2. our team (basketball) couldn't get a win. then we finally won 2 games, and had a shot at making the playoffs. but we lost our last game and just missed the cut for a wild card spot. it was a good season though, and our record definitely didn't reflect the skills of our team. but what can we do? we lost the games we needed to win. so we were sent packing home.

3. being home is just...blehh...not that i dont like being home, but being home feels really lonely. im not exactly sure how to explain it. dont get me wrong though, i LOVE being home...but at the same time i dont wana be. im sure you guys get what i mean...if not, ask me about it and i'll try to explain it better to you

so yeah, with all that in mind for the past few weeks, i've just been kinda in a "i dont wana think about it" mode. just trying to let the days go by and deal with situations as they come up. but over the last couple of days, i started to think again...and i realized that my summer vacation is ending (hopefully the last one..hahaha) and normally, i dread it cuz i feel like summer went by so quickly and i just wana have a couple more weeks to rest and play. but this summer, i feel like it went by just perfectly. i've had my time of rest and play, and im ready to go back to school to get my self and degree and graduate, and play more!!!...jkjk...ahhahaha...but yeah. i guess for me, (other than switching majors and figuring out what i want as a career) i've been scared. like...REALLY REALLY scared...of life after college. i havent really given it much thought in terms of where im headed and i guess i've kinda been using the excuse of "im trying to figure out where God is leading me"...but truthfully, i've just been scared. i really dont know what im gona do. sometimes i feel like God is leading me this way, but sometimes i feel like He's not. or maybe I'm thinking that He's not cuz i dont wana head in that direction?? i really dont know. (i havent been thinking about life the past few weeks..but you see my dilemma when i think?)

anyways...i guess for now, i know that God just wants me back in bing and finish up school. thats the first and foremost thing i need to do. and as much as i would love to stay "in college"...my financial status is getting extremely tight. so i really gota get cracking on those books. sighh...now that im thinking about it...maybe im not looking forward to school as much i as i thought when i started this post..hahahaha...i gota stop thinking -_-"

okk..sorry for the random thoughts..but i guess i just wanted to give an update of some sort.

aite..im outs..

p.s. LETS GO JETS!!!

ARGHHH

im too tired and frustrated to blog...IM me if you want an update, otherwise it might be a while for my next real post. sorry guys...

here we go, one more time

so last night i passed out...actually, i KNOCKED out. and because of that, i forgot to set my alarm. i jumped out of bed this morning and looked at my clock. 8:25. CRAP!! i quickly got ready and went down for work. the day went by pretty smoothly. everyone is starting to get in to the routine of things and i dont have to walk around as much anymore. which a good thing i guess? but then again i get really bored sitting in the office too long...hopefully tomorrow will come with some kind of adventure. thats all for now, im outs

i didnt think sitting in an office all day would make me this tired...

work finally started this week. so now my day starts at 7:30am, instead of ending at that time..lol...and man...it is quite the tiring. i didnt think that being in the office would require this much energy -_-" dealing with teachers AND volunteers is quite the hectic.

so for today, we had a fire drill. and yeah, if it was a real fire, everyone woulda died...it took a little over 10 mins to evacuate the building. (we're suppose to be out in less than 6 mins) -_-" other than that, day camp is starting to sink in and its been an awesome 2 days. another 28 days of day camp to go! w00t!!!

okk...im tired. i'll update more later

frustrations are gone...yay!!!

so in response to my last "blog", i have some explaining to do. there were mainly two reasons on why i was frustrated.

1. my comp somehow got a virus. and although i managed to contain it, i couldn't find the freaking thing and my virus scan just kept detecting it every 10 mins preventing it from doing any harm to my comp. i looked at a crap load of forums trying to figure out what was wrong...but nothing helped...but then i finally found something and now everything is solved. yay!

2. so "today" (i put today in quotes cuz its past midnight) we were suppose to have a bbq for BtB...but some of the team members had other plans that came up and they weren't able to come. i wasnt really frustrated...i was probably more upset, cuz i was really looking forward to hanging out with them. so then we voted on opening up the bbq to the rest of the fellowship, but it was a bit late and a lot of people already made plans. so i had to decide whether to keep the bbq on, or cancel it. after days of thinking and talking to people, i decided to go through with it. and it turned out really well. actually, it turned out AWESOME...we had a TON of food (i am terrible at estimating food portions) and awesome company. we jammed a bit(aka sing joanna's name to as many different chord progressions as we can), played some wii, took a tour of the building, ate a LOT, and "watched" the fireworks on top of OCM (i put watched in quotes cuz it was drizzling, so there was a lot of fog and half way through the fireworks it didnt really see anything, just a bunch of lights and clouds of smoke) but nevertheless it was great times with great people. for the second time, im glad i went through with plans rather than canceling it. =D

so yeah...now, im extremely pooped out...maybe i'll go to sleep earlier than 1 am tonight....nahhh..hahahahaha...but yeah, im outs for now. Happy 4th of July!!!

frustrated...

...when i shouldn't be...i hate being frustrated -_-"

i almost cried again...

today, my parents woke me up in the morning cause they wanted to go out, and they wanted me to drive...-_-" so i got up and got ready. my body was hating me. it refused to move in the way i wanted it to and my back was killing me. after being free for 5 weeks, i had no choice but to resort to an energy drink to wake my body up. it tasted pretty bad...iono how i drank that stuff like water during the school year. but it worked...and off we go...

after an afternoon of shopping, we finally came back. i thought about taking a nap, but i couldnt fall asleep (energy drinks are freaking amazing xD) so i ended up going down to the worship team practice room to practice drums cuz im playing this coming sunday. then i came back up and made dinner. tonight, i made steaks. it was quite the yummy =D ...my dad was really impressed, and my mom said i should make dinner every night -_-" but i passed on the opportunity...lol

anyways, so after dinner, i headed back down to the practice room. 10 mins later, my sister comes in along with my parents. then an idea popped in my head. i set up a couple equipments and started teaching my family how to play the respective instruments they knew how to play. we ended up jamming together for like 3 hours. it was freaking AWESOME. after we had finished playing the set i made up, my parents started to laugh. i was a bit confused...but my dad explained that him and my mom were laughing cuz they were happy. they explained that they were able to actually see a future for me. (apparently they were really worried, cuz every time they asked me what i wanted to do, i would reply "i dont know"...but they had faith in God that He will lead me to do something) at first i was like...wth?!?!?! but then i realized how much more i should be aware of my future...even though "im waiting on God on where He wants to lead me"...i still needed a direction. my parents are dropping a LOT of money for me to stay an extra year in school...

so yeah, back to the end of the jam session. as we were cleaning up, my dad and i had a convo that went something like this...

dad: do you really like to do this?
me: do what?
dad: this...playing and singing
me: yeah, i guess so. otherwise i wouldnt be doing it all year round
dad: thats good. its pretty cool...what you're able to do and stuff
me: thanks?

so a few weeks ago (when i wrote "its ok to cry") my dad and i had a convo about my future and stuff...and something i left out on that post was when i was telling my dad why i wanted to be music major. my dad said he couldn't fully support me because he said that this career path would be way to hard, etc. and that really hurt me. cuz all my life my parents had supported me in everything that i did. good or bad (not that they supported my bad behavior...not that i had that many...but that they were still supportive to who i was/am/gona be) and during that part of the convo, my dad was trying to convince me to go back to chemistry and find a future there, and play music as a side thing/hobby. but tonight, i guess my parents saw something different? our convo continued on like this...

dad: yeah. i can see why you like doing this so much
me: really? why?
dad: cause its fun
me: haha. yeah it is dad. its really fun
dad: yeah. it is. i'll be praying for you then..and we should do this more often

hearing that, it almost...ALMOST...made me wana cry again (why am i being such a big baby??? wth?!?!?!) but yeah, knowing that my parents were gona support me wherever God leads me is an awesome feeling...just cuz having them around would be a huge blessing.

BUT...this still doesnt give me an answer to where God is leading me...so thats still up in the air. so please continue to pray for me =D

okk..im tired...nite-0

im tired from playing -_-"

i didn't think i'd ever say this...but i am really really really tired from playing today...it was really fun though. and AWESOME...but now i shall walk with a limp...lol

are you ready? heck yeah!!! =D

jury duty

so for the past 2 days, i've had to go in for jury duty. initially, i was like...dang it! monday morning, i got up at 745...745am!!! got ready and walked to the building i was assigned to. when i got there, there was some introductory stuff we had to do, then we turned in our summons and waited to get picked. nothing came in in the morning...so all i ended up doing was sleep...hahaha. then we had a lunch break, since i lived close enough, i came home. went back for the afternoon, and the afternoon was pretty much the same as the morning. except this time, i had my cousin christina keeping me company =] a case came in late that day, so they werent able to pick out jurors so they let us out early.

so this morning, i got up a bit late...had to rush to the jury room. as soon as i got in, they started calling out names of jurors that were to be questioned. my name got called! so i went out and followed the court officer. at the court room, we got sworn in, and gave a narrative answer to questions on a questionnaire. then the lawyers presented their case...we went back out and waited, then came back in and they selected. i didnt get picked. so back to the giant waiting room...had lunch break...came back, but my name wasn't drawn so no im free from jury duty for the next 6 years. but honestly, after going through all this, i kinda wished i got picked..i wanted to see what it was like in the court room and stuff..but i guess i'll have to wait for another 6 years...

i just took an 8 hour nap >.<"

so yeah, hmm..where to start...

for today, my dad asked me (like last week) if i was free to drive him cuz he had to conduct a wedding ceremony. last time i did this, he had to go to like mid/uptown (around 160 something st.?) so i was like..yeah, no problem. so last night i asked my mom for the address of the church, since i was gona be home late, i asked her to email it to me. so i went on google maps and searched the place. it said that it was 80 miles away (about a 2 hour drive)...almost at the tip of long island. O_O? i burst into my parent's room (yes, they were still awake) and the convo between my dad ans i went something like this...

me: the west hamptons?!?!?! are you serious!?!?!?!
dad: oh, yeah, i forgot to tell you that last week...it's really far
me: uhh...DUH!!!! what time is the ceremony???
dad: i have to be there no later than 11
me: so what time do you want to leave?
dad:mmm...i was thinking around 830. latest 9 in case of traffic (so if you didnt read my last blog...me and traffic, yeah, we're not the best of buddies)
me: 830?!?!?! oh man...cant you drive yourself??? its not like you dont know how to...(i leave their room to go back to mine, and i hear my dad laughing...)
dad: its ok son...(i turn back around hoping he was gona drive himself)...i'll wake you up in the morning...

great -_-" wth...so i go back to my room, jot some notes down for driving directions, set my alarm for 8 and went to bed, and the next thing i knew, it was 825 and my dad was shaking me...WAKE UP!!! crappp..i overslept! got up, suited up, and took off. so for those that live in LI/nyc, saturday morning, usually means traffic on the LIE...or it has been everytime i drove out on saturday mornings...but today, no traffic...i shot right through and got to exit 70, yes, exit 70 on the LIE in like an hour...yeh yeh, thats a little fast, but i was moving with the flow of traffic xD

so we got to the hotel where the wedding was in like 1.5 hours, the same amount of time it took me the other day to get to queens (see my previous blog). we got there a bit early..it was only 10:30...but upon leaving the car for the valet, my dad and i had another convo that went like this

dad: not bad, you took off like 30 mins from the trip
me: uhh, thanks?
dad: maybe on the way back you can take of 45 mins?
me: (thinking in my head) uhh..wth!?!?!?!?

*yeh..so i guess now i have a reasoning for my tendency to speed...it runs in the family!! hahahaah xP

anyways...so initially, i was gona try to lounge around hotel lobby and wait. but my cousin christina suggested that i SUIT UP! just incase...and good thing i did...cuz i ended up sitting in the ceremony. so during the ceremony, my dad gave a short shpeal on love...and one of the things he said that really stuck out was the patience part of love. and this patience is really in 2 parts. the obvious part is where we need to be patient with one another and the typical stuff. but the other part my dad talked about was being patient in waiting for God to bring the person He has prepared especially for you. the two people that got married today, even though i didnt really know them, i could tell that they were really special. they were both Ph D grads from columbia, and both came from high profile families. and they definitely coulda had anyone they wanted...but they came to know Christ [on their own] (their families aren't Christians) and learn what TRUE love is. so each of them waited for God to bring their special mate that He has prepared for them, and voila! they found each other.

after the ceremony, we headed back to the city, on the way back, we planned on looking at some house in LI. so for me, i've been kinda like, why do we need a house? we have a place to stay, take the money (we sold our house in Wisconsin) and invest it or something. but my dad insisted that we looked at houses. so we did. and as soon as we entered the first house, i knew why...the way my mom smiled and walked around the houses and stuff, man, my dad knew my mom like a book! and just watching the two of them observing the houses we looked at, it made me crack a smile and think about how long my dad had to wait for my mom. 7 years...yep, my daddy waited for 7 years for my mommy. LOVE is patient...it really really is...

so yeah, then we came back to ctown...got some late lunch and came home. my dad decided to take a nap, so my mom asked me what we should do for dinner. i told her to get something dad would like and i PASSED OUT. next thing i knew, it was 2 am...i took an 8 hour nap?!?!? O_O i got up and went outside, my dad was about to go sleep. then we had another convo that went like this...

dad: oh, you're awake
me: uhh..why didnt you guys wake me up for dinner????
dad: oh, you looked really tired so i thought sleep was better for you, plus it doesnt hurt you to lose a meal
me: uhh..thanks dad...thanks
dad: hahahahaha...hang on (he goes in the room and wakes my mom up) your son's awake and i think he's hungry
me: (standing outside their door and hearing everything) its ok mom..i can make my own food..go sleep
dad: (comes back out) yeah, your mom is tired...dont sleep too late. g'nite

man...haha, i love my dad. and i dont think i say that enough to him. it's father's day today...and honestly (not that im biased cuz im a guy) but a LOT of times, we tend to just overlook father's day. we make such a big deal about mother's day in may, and yes, i love my mommy as well, but there are MANY of us that kinda just lets father's day go by. and yeah, guys dont really like to celebrate stuff...blah blah...but i say SCREW that. CELEBRATE with your father. they probably wont show as much of an appreciation as your mom would, but deep down inside, they're a big softy for this stuff.

and i guess this also goes for those of us that are Christians, it goes the same way for our heavenly Father. there really isnt ever a time where I LOVE YOU (too) is said enough..."we love because HE first loved us" 1 John 4:19.

so like seriously, if you get a chance, tell your daddy how much you love them. if they're far away, give them a call, if they're somewhat close by, drive over and surprised them if you didnt plan on celebrating...because even though they may not show it well, they really love you.

happy father's day!

transportation in nyc...

so i was suppose to make this post a couple days back...but i've been hanging out and havent really had time to sit in front of my comp to type this out. so hopefully this still makes some sense as im trying to recall what i wanted to blog about...

so...the first and probably the most popular kind of transportation...the train. so the other day, i was on the train, and i realized that a lot of people were staring at me. i was kinda like...wth is going on??? but come to after looking around, i noticed that people just stare at each other in general. and that got me thinking...what do people look at when they're on a train (if they're not sleeping or reading something)...you can only read the commercial boards so many times...then it started to feel really awkward cuz i found myself randomly staring at other people as well...so i tried staring at the ground. it worked for while, but i would look up once in a while, and notice people staring and looking around me...O_O?? another thing about trains...they take FOREVER!!! so i guess being someone that like to get from point a to point b asap, the train is NOT an ideal way to travel for me...or so i thought...

so the other kind of transportation that i use is my car. back in my midwest days, i can get from a to b in a good amount of time (15-20 mins at most if there's traffic). BUT, im driving in freaking nyc now. and yeah, traffic here, oh man...i would use some extreme colorful language, but i will refrain from that because i am trying to cut a bad habit. lets just say that it is really ridiculous. but you know what i hate more? the traffic jams RARELY have an explanation. its as if people just decide to drive slower during certain hours of the day...WHY!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?! so the other day, i debated to take the train out to queens, or drive...i looked up nyc traffic map, and it said it was clear...but i guess from the time i left my room to my car (which is like 3 mins) the traffic flow changed...as soon as i got off the williamsburg bridge, i drove bumper to bumper and inched my way slowly to queens...GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...man...a trip that should took me no more than 30 mins, took me 1.5 hours...1.5 hours!!!!

anyways...wow, this blog became more like a vent...hahahahahahaahaahah...but yeah, thats reall all for now, im just glad tomrrow i dont have to worry about traveling out to church. cuz i just gota take the elevator down, although sometimes elevator traffic is even worse -_-" but i'll save that rant some other day.

im outs..paEce

how i met boaz.

this is christina. i am at boaz's place and so i figured its about time i get to ruin someone else's blog with fictional stories. but then again, the world is infested with enough lies and distorted facts. so lets have some truth.


i dont really remember much about the first time i met boaz. for those of you who dont know, boaz and i are cousins but we never actually got to know each other until he moved out here to new york. i only met boaz once before when my family went to the phillipines to visit his family. his dad had just finished seminary so they got a whole bunch of family to come and celebrate. we went to Mt. Mayon and had a picnic on this huge field. i dont remember much of the day, i just remember that boaz was really annoying. our families kept trying to take pictures of the kids together but boaz for the life of him would never stay still and so it took forever. this is the one good pic we got as we were leaving. but even this one took a while cuz boaz kept trying to stand in front of me and block me from the picture. i was pretty pissed. what a punk. well after that i didnt see or hear about him until my mom told me that their family would be moving to new york, and she had to go searching for pictures cuz i had no idea who they were anymore. she kept telling me to contact boaz or joachebeth to get to know them better since they would be so close now. but i was like errr... awkward....then one day i came home from school and my mom and boaz's mom were talking on the phone. then my mom just shoves the phone in my face and goes "here talk to boaz. they are in new york." the conversation went something like this:


me: uhh hello?
boaz: (long pause)... hi
me: so i hear youre in new york
boaz: yea
me: uhh.. do you like it here?
boaz: i just got here
me: oh..err okay


and then i threw the phone back at my mom. it was kinda weird seeing him at church after that cuz its like one of those im-supposed-to-know-you-but-i-dont-and-thats-quite-okay-with-me sort of situations. it was nice catching up with joachebeth though. she was a lot more pleasant.


well anyway, fast forward a few years and now boaz and i are actually pretty close. he says he doesnt remember being mean to me but thats because he's mean to me every day. all that aside, im glad we're able to spend more time with each other now and im grateful for how he looks out for me so well. kinda makes up for all the years he was a loser. so thats how i met boaz. he'll probably give you a messed up version of the story where he was the sweet and pleasant one and i was the obnoxious jerk, but his perception of reality has always been a bit twisted. so there you have it. and now boaz is playing guitar really loud behind me.

my day was quite useful...

so for like the first time this summer...my day was productive.

i went downstairs to the church office today to help out and volunteer. i helped type out the schedule for the pastoral/church staff retreat that they're having this week...and man, the schedule my dad made is INTENSE...and i thought that IV conferences had intense schedules...they have like 5 hour discussion sessions...after like a 2 hour lecture and what not. O_O

then, i headed up a floor to asp office, and helped out with making a tentative schedule for sdc. so i admit that im really a big IV product...i wanted to do it as efficiently as possible. and my co-workers were like, its not that simple...but i was it can be!!! -_-" but i ended up doing it the way they do it...just cuz what i had in mind would take too long to explain to them...and it was really hot (no ac in the office...man, definitely NOT looking forward to that all summer long) so i didnt wana talk too much. it took like 2 hours >.<"

then, i finally got a break...cooled down a bit in my room, then i had to go back down to practice...so the other night, my mom was playing the piano (she likes to do that at night) and i was like, its been a long while since i've played with my mom...so i took my violin out and played around accompanying her and stuff. and she was like, thats really good. wana play sunday? i was like..hahahahah....no...but apparently my mom "didnt hear it"...so she calls me and she like, hey, the guy playing piano on sunday is here, i want you to practice with him...O_O? wth!?!? so i had to go back down...and i practiced with the guy. so we're done with the piece, but he needed more practice cuz he's playing for the praise time too...so i was just sitting there and then my dad comes in was like, oh, play for praise time too..O_O??? oh mannn....that means i have to be up for a 8:30am service on sunday T-T wahhhhhhhh

so yeah, after that was done, i went back to the office with the parents...and the guys that were making the handbook for the pastoral retreat were doing it really slow and ineffciently...-_-" at first i was just gona head back up to go home...but standing there watching them, i got really frustrated at how inefficient they were! so i was like...try this, and try that...so i ended helping them do the handbooks...and double checked them to make sure it was done right...finally finished at 10

then came up, mom picked up food for me and my dad, we watched the nba finals while eating, finally for once, i got to say "in YOUR face" to my dad...he's gotten the glory over the last 2 games...COME ON LAKERS!!!

and yeah..thats all for today...

I GOT TO SEE PEOPLE and HANG OUT!!!

today...i GOT TO SEE PEOPLE and HANG OUT!!! and it was actually fun =D but tiring...so im gona sum it up in as few words as possible...

woke up
talk to the dad a bit
went to the beach
ate nathan's
went on the wonder wheel..probably for the last time ever...
came back to c-town
hung out at my house
got food and ate it
played wii fit
then people left
and now im on my comp summarizing

very simple day...but it was a GREAT day =D

its ok to cry

so tonight...for the first time in a REALLY REALLY REALLY long time, i cried. thinking back to earlier tonight, i still dont really know why i did, or what instigated it. it was right after dinner, im talking to my parents, and my dad asked me what i was gona do with my life. and i told him that i didnt know...wherever God leads me. and he was like..."hahaha..good answer" but i dont think he meant it 100%. cuz after that, he started asking me questions and stuff...and it got me thinking...what the heck AM i doing???

then i raised up the possibility of becoming a full time staff worker for intervarsity...and my parents were like ok...so what/how would you fund raise? and i couldnt give them a confident answer...then my dad suggested seminary...but i told him there is no way i will go into church ministry...because of all the stupid crap and politics that happens...i explained to my dad why i hate it so much, because of what i saw when i was younger, what happened to my parents and how it just tore up the church, how it just didnt make any sense that it would happen in a church...and i got really angry thinking about all the crap my family had to go through and i started crying...-_-" at this point, my sister went downstairs to get her friend who was coming over to hang out a bit...man, was it embarrassing...lol

anywhos, so yeah,(im still crying) i was explaining to my dad how i felt about the church, and the reasons why i wanted to be a doctor, or go into some kind of professional career, so that i could avoid going into ministry..cuz i HATE it...but then my dad said that politics happens everywhere, no matter what the job is. i knew that, but i would expect in a "secular" setting? versus it happening in a church...[right after i said that, something i learned from basileia kicked into my mind. that it doesnt matter if its "secular" or "religious", God created it, therefore it is good]...then my dad encouraged me with what he held on to when all of this was happening to him...he mentioned that no matter what the situation is, God is always faithful to His servants. as long as we continue to obey Him, He will bring judgment to those that have sinned. and i knew that too, but i just couldnt stand how/why it happens in the churches today(im still crying)...then my dad said something else that i dreaded to hear..."maybe God is giving you these thoughts so you can do something about it"...that initially got me more frustrated, cuz i've felt that way all my life...at the same time, i asked back...maybe i have a problem? cuz i can never just be ok with how things are going...but my dad replied saying that it was better for me to find ways to improve and not settle...!)(@$&!#^%)!@$...GAHHHH -_-" i can never win against my dad...but yeah, so then he asked me have i thought about ministry work...

oh man...i know everyone has always joked bout how im gona be a pastor or staff worker or something along the lines of it...and i've ALWAYS replied..."heck no"...but at that point, i couldnt give that answer...even though i gave it to my dad like 10 minutes ago (i've started to calm down and stopped crying)...and at this point, i really dont know what im gona do...is going into ministry something that God wants me to do? or being IV staff? or maybe going back to pursue a "professional" career? man...why is life so complicated and confusing?

so i guess the purpose of this post comes to this...a prayer request to you all. I dont know exactly what to ask for as of right now, but im thinking along the lines of what does God want me to do for Him? if God speaks to you, please do not hesitate to let me know. i'll be praying too...aite, i shall go sleep, my bed is yelling out my name...nite-0

here we gooooooooo

basileia was AWESOME...thats really all i have to say about it. otherwise i'll never stop typing. if you wana know more, i am more than happy to answer any questions you have =D

being home is GOOD...its nice to sleep in my own bed, but i do miss being at bing...being home is quite the lonely...so come out to chinatown and lets chill!!! or we could meet up somewhere?

summer 2008...im hoping that you will be a-mazing...

thats all for now, theres definitely more to come...

SEE-Pank You soooo much

last week of classes...w00t!!!!!

so much crap to do though...and then there's still finals...WAHHHHH T-T

but yeah, another awesome weekend spent here in binghamton. senior banquet was really fun. hanging out with alums was great times. sighh, as much as i want the summer to start, im gona miss bing and the people here...good thing im staying another year huh? -_-" lol...

aite, i should really start working...stupid music history class ((Q))-_-"

one last thing, here's the new song i just wrote...

Wait for the Lord (Psalm 27)

Boaz Tingson

The LORD is my light and my salvation

Of whom shall I fear?

The LORD is the stronghold and helper of my life

Of whom shall I be afraid?

When my enemies and foes attack me

When the evil men advance against me

When there comes a day of trouble for me

My heart will not fear

I am confident of this,

He hears my voice when I call…because…

The LORD is my light and my salvation

Of whom shall I fear?

The LORD is the stronghold and helper of my life

Of whom shall I be afraid?

Though my father and my mother forsake me

Though hostilities may break out against me

Though my enemies may come surround me

My heart will not fear

One thing I ask of You LORD,

This is what I seek

That I may dwell in Your house,

all the days of my life

I am confident of this

He hears my voice when I call

So I will wait for You Lord…I will wait for the LORD

back to reality

where to start...

Koinonia concert was a BLAST!

WADDUP!!!

other than that, life is ok...last week was a bit weird, didnt feel like i was going to school at all...now, work is piling back up (as is my laundry) and i've got a crap load of work to do...

sighh...cant wait for the summer to start

a quick update

quick update on life?

school...sucks a LOT right now...exams, papers, and projects are coming from everywhere...><" other stuff? praise team...AWESOME...we just made an ablum over the weekend...come to IV and buy one to support our ministry!!! koinonia...STRESSED..a lil bit...the concert is less than a week...and we still have some touching up to do...but it should be AWESOME...COME IF YOU CAN!!! KoInOnIa
-flip the switch-
spring 2008 semester show

4/27/08
4-6pm
LH1

bring/invite a friend!!!

and uhh...CLAMASAURUS IS BACK!!! YAY!!!

sighh...

why do i always get a crap load of work when its really nice outside

school sucksssss

i hate school....a LOT...why am i here?!?!?!!? T-T

ok, so i dont really really hate school...just this stupid paper i gota do...its ridiculously hard...plus i have a lot of other stuff i gota do for this week...sighh...at this rate, i might be in school forever...=X hope that doesnt really happen...oh man..aite...back to work, sorry for the random post...i'll give a better update later

Bew-teyh-fowl

today was so freaking nice outside...hence, i got no work done...hahahahaha...but i played a LOT =D


okk...thats all for now, time to go to bed

spring break 08...a "quick" recap

man...i should totally be doing work right now, but since its still spring break ( its break till my first class) i shall procrastinate to the max.

this break, i didn't go anywhere/do anything special like i have done in the past. i stayed home and spent most of the day by myself, the wii, the guitar, the piano, my sister's laptop (since i didn't bring back my comp) and God. being home alone for most of the day, i realized that i was able to spent some time with just myself and God for the first time in a really really really really long time. and it felt AWESOME. Although questions that i had for God haven't really been answered at this moment, i was able to sit down and ask Him things sincerely, rather than just saying a quick prayer in my mind when i needed help/answers. for the first time in a long while, i had time to not think about other things and just keep my mind totally focused on Him.

so one of the things that i asked God this past week was about my future. technically, i should be graduating this may...but im not. not because im failing or anything (actually, i'll get to that part in a bit) but i really really really don't know what God wants me to do. all my life up to last fall, i had always thought that God was calling me to be a doctor. i wanted to be able to open up a clinic that would help the sick...like Jesus did when He he came down to earth...because hospitals these days (generally in america) only help people that have money. if you didn't have money for your injury or illness, you were pretty much screwed and left to die. and thats really freaking messed up. like, how could we call these people doctors when they can only operate on those that can afford their services? the insurance companies and their wack plans and restrictions are just complete bogus !@#$#$^&@#*%(this isn't the purpose of the blog...so i shall reset my mind)

but yeah, as i was saying, i thought that God wanted me to be a doctor that would "literally" heal the sick...cuz thats what doctors should do. and thats what Jesus did...but last summer, i realized that i couldn't go through with it...i found NO passion in doing this work directly...i couldn't stand the idea of applying and remaining in school for the next 8 years of my life. just thinking about it makes my brain hurt ><" so i started thinking, what on earth can i do then?

back in like hs, i remember my counselor telling me that the most important thing in choosing a career is doing something you like to do. so i started thinking, what do i like to do? i like to play. but how am i gona make a career in that? pro gamer? my parents would kill me before i could finish telling them that i wanted to do that for a living. play sports? its wayyy to late to even think about it...after missing tryouts for jv back in hs cuz of a sprained ankle and getting cut for varsity cuz i was too small...theres no way to consider that path. play music? PLAY MUSIC!

then it hit me, i could play music! write songs, be an amateur artist, and pray that i can get like a one hit wonder? oh man, that thought quickly faded...what are the chances of that happening...-_-" and im starting to go off tangent again..so i shall reset...

so yeah, now, im a double major in music and chemistry...and i was on track to finish with just a maximum of 1 extra year...maybe even less. until i got my grades from last fall. i didnt fufill one of the major classes i needed and i need to retake that class T-T but i thought, no problem, it fits in my schedule...or so i thought. the 2 classes i need are offered at the SAME TIME SLOT next fall...wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...all i could think was, why God...why!??!?!?! T-T

anywhos, my dilemma now is i might have to stay even longer...oh man...just the thought of that makes my brain hurt...T-T sighh...i have to go talk to the professor tomorrow and hope that i can somehow take it in the summer or something...(crap..im off track again..spring break boaz..talk about spring break)

OK...spring break 08...so maybe having so much time on my own wasn't as good as i thought it would be...it got me thinking a little too much (i tend to have the problem) so i decided to keep my mind occupied. so i tried arranging music for koinonia. after my first arrangement, i sent it to steve and he sent it back completely shredding all that i did..(arranging music is a LOT harder than i thought)..but he gave good suggestions here and there so i was able to make a new arrangement and yeah, hopefully we'll be singing it next fall...

so that was tuesday night and most of the day weds. thursday, took a chill day and help out sisters from our church to practice football for a tournament on saturday. but during the practice, i jammed my right pinky. at first i thought it was nothing since i jam my fingers all the time. so after practice i helped out at the church with our 5th sunday event "you too"..when i got home after...i realized i had no feeling in my right pinky (i accidentally brushed against a hot pot but felt no pain) and i looked...my pinky was the size of my thumb O_O ...and i had a football tourney on saturday...crap -_-"

friday was a relaxing day...slept in...got a hair cut (my head feels so naked)...instead of taking a day off, i helped again and practiced with the sisters some more...it was ok..i taped my fingers =D friday night was the event, it went pretty well i thought. the messages spoken definitely gave me another awakening...but i shall save that for some other time cuz it's almost 2 and i havent started doing my work yet...

so yeah, saturday, football tournament. made a name for ourselves. we lost in the finals, but we definitely got some heads turning when they saw us play. it was fun. sucks that we lost, but we lost with the best possible way. we had our shots, we just didnt convert on opportunities...we'll definitely get them next year...

sunday...today, went to church, ate lunch, waited for the children to come out to chinatown, then headed back up to bing...and now, im in bing land again...and i really should do my work...sighh...i hate school...why am i still here?!?!?!?! T-T

T-T

yesterday at this time, my hard drive fried. T-T

i lost all my documents, pics, music...it took me (not really me, more like chris and his friend) like 4 hours to re-do everything...stupid mac wana be program!! ARGH!!!


jk...its just an old hard drive...sighh, i still lost my files though...well, hopefully chris friend is able to figure out something and get my stuff...but yeah, so instead of studying for my exam, i was making my comp back to the way it was...in return, i slept through my first class, and bombed my exam. on that of that, the exam i had last week, bombed that too...man...school sucks. i really need to get my act together...cant keep on slacking off...blahh...

thats all for now...some "good" news...clamasaurus might come back early =D

new update

new update...this is on my xanga as well

i feel like my body is like 80 years old...or it did until this morning. so weds night, i slept 3 hours cuz i had an exam the next day. after my test, instead of sleeping and getting some rest, i decided to go play basketball and run some errands thinking i can still nap for a bit since koinonia (which i ended up joining after lots of prayer and debate) practice was at 9...but i forgot to factor in dinner -_-" so i ended up not sleeping at all...after practice i went to ball some more...but i forgot i had to do laundry...so that took me til like 4 (i got back around 1ish)

so i went to sleep..but i cudnt fall asleep T-T finally slept at like 530? thats the last time i checked what time it was...but i got up at like 12 cuz i had to do stuff ><" (so thats like 6 hours of sleep?)

friday was a loong day...we had praise team practice after lg cuz we were leading worship for interfellowship retreat the next day...and then when i got back, i decided to hang out and chill cuz jeff came up. then, we decided to go to turning stone...but like 1/3 of the way there, i noticed that we still had 90 some miles to go, and it was already 430...we wud get there at 6, which is the time we would need to leave there for me to get back in time for praise...O.o? so we turned around and went to eat instead...so i finally slept at 6...and got up at 730... 1.5 hours of sleep T-T

after interfellowship, instead of sleeping...i went to watch the BU game (which they lost) so that took up my afternoon...i got back, showered, ate some snacks...then i had to head out for koinonia cuz we were performing at interfellowship retreat. the performance was definitely not awesome, but it was fun, and we got the crowd going which was really cool =D

but yeah, after that, we went to eat, then people came over to play. now, i've had a total of 9-10 hours of sleep for the past 72 hours...and my body was dying...around 10 last night, i closed my door (people were still here) and KNOCKED out...ppl were outside and laughing and stuff, next thing i knew, it was 1pm (it was really 2 cuz of daylight savings) on sunday morning O_O...i missed church...but i got 16 hours of sleep...which felt AWESOME...

so today, i kinda just took chill day...did some hw, ate some good food...and then went to ball. by the way, lOl...4-1...and going to playoffs!!! w00t w00t w00tttttttttt!!

anways...thats all for now, i shud go to bed, but i cant cuz i've got so much energy...so im gona go bother people...pEaz out!

my blogs

so for now...im still gona use my xanga to post stuff...but i'll probably start updating here eventually...